19.10.2010

如果你想说, 我愿意听.
不想说,我也不问.
因为,
如果说错话,
只会让我更恨,
更讨厌我自己.

习惯了伪装,
开始分不清,
哪个是真正的自己.

话少,这不是我.
话多,容易得罪人.
最亲的人,
都不了解自己.
何况是别人.

我不懂得社交.
我不懂得沟通.
我不懂得用话来讨好人.
说难听点,
说话没经大脑.
这就是我.

我无心的话,
变成了无心的伤害.
也成了我的内疚.
内疚一步一步的前进.
内疚没有解药.
唯一的解药,
应该就是我自己.
释放就是唯一的药方.

Disappointed to myself

Today is the 1st day of final exam.
Am2..
I'm not sure will ' da bao' or not..
Just let it be.

So, now need to memorize PP1 for tmr.
Too many bab need to cover.
Honestly,
I don't know how to start it.

Quite disappointed to myself.
Freaking hate this type of feeling.
This feeling come to attack me again.
I don't know how to overcome it.
Just felt like shame to face other.
Hate it.

Sometimes isn't live like a dumb will better?
At least can't 'dak zui' others.
I'm just like a idiot.
I don't know how to communicate with others.
I don't know how I share my thinking with you'll.
I always makes misunderstanding my meaning.
I just like a stupid.
I don't know how to build a relationships with other.
I don't know how to talk.
I don't know how to show my care to other.

More I've talk, more mistake I've make.
No ppl understanding.
Just be a annoying person.
Isn't alone is better?
At the end,
I'm alone.

Sometimes after I said something,
actually I not mention anything.
But, I've said in incorrect ways.
I don't have speaking skill.
I don't know how to describe my opinion.
That why, I always hurt other,
but sometimes I didn't realise it.
I really not willing to hurt other.
This what we call stupid. Idiot.

Is possible, have a person understand me?
I think no.
Except God.
The only one who know me well.

How I change?
Isn't the only solution-
Don't talk.
or talk by using brain.

Exam is start

Today just finished Muet - Speaking component.
Just felt like ok.
Not very good but also not very very bad.
2nd chance will on next year.

Exam will start coming Monday.
haven't prepare.
haiz~ Final exam..
challenge again.

Gambatek la, frenz :)
God bless.
All the best :)


[ One GOD ]
[ One HOPE ]
[ One LOVE ]
[ One FAITH ]


[ waiting - Z.U.Z.Z ]

飞轮海 - 心疼你的心疼

总是在夜深人静想一个人
你留给我的回忆 映着月光更深刻
如果说后悔可以杀一个人
我已经为你死掉 多少次了呢

你的泪痕 你默默忍耐过的寒冷
我现在才懂得

心疼你的心疼 想紧紧把你抱着
去弥补从前所有不完整
让我让你快乐 为你的微笑负责
承诺过的未来还在等
等我们的爱重生

时间是一道不能反转的门
那时的年少轻狂 如今想来多残忍
只不过这个世上没有一本
能够教我们如何 相爱的手册

你的泪痕 你默默忍耐过的寒冷
我现在才懂得

心疼你的心疼 想紧紧把你抱着
去弥补从前所有不完整
让我让你快乐 为你的微笑负责
承诺过的未来还在等
等我们的爱重生

再也不会让你受伤了
我已完全明白爱能教人多心疼
这次换我等 换我为你牺牲
让我守护着你 跟我一起走过时间的河

心疼你的心疼 想紧紧把你抱着
去弥补从前所有不完整
让我让你快乐 为你的微笑负责
承诺过的未来还在等
等我们的爱重生

[ 等待 ]

家好月圆庆中秋

Recently, I have watch ' Moonlight Resonance'.
I admit that it is great and touched.
Can learn a lot through it.
It had show,
how great the love of a mum.
A unity family,
The love from a family.
The important of family.
Their encourages when one of the family member having problem.
Their forgiveness and forget each other's fault.
That is what the love about.
Love is selfless not selfish.
Love is forgive.
Love is kind.
But how many ppl can really do it?
Included me.

I can't do it.
I've my anger.
Sometimes, my word will hurt someone.
Sometimes, my attitude will hurt someone.
Sometimes, my character will annoying by someone.
Sometimes, I've ignore other's feeling.
Sometimes, I may overestimating myself.
I've my own shortcoming.
Love the person that you dislike really very difficult.
If wanna you forgive and forget a person that you hated and her/his fault,
that really hard.

But,
How about
Let us give ourselves a chance to get free from it.
If you don't release it, it will be our burden.
We can't really enjoy the joyful moment in our life.
Happy not same as joy.
That are 2 different things.

Maybe you'll said, dun be too naif.
But I still believe that.
I think it will never be same,
When you open ur heart.
Maybe we will found the world,
not same as what we see b4.
Maybe we will find something,
we do not notice b4.
You view maybe not same as last time.

Godbless :)



[ waiting ]- Z.U.Z.Z

Heaven's passport

Today,
a news is shocked me.
It let me ' wake up'.
- A pastor has passed away because of a accident.
Just 30++ years.

It let me realise that,
Life is not a very long journey.
It can be very short.
We really do not what will happen on the next second.
When God call you back home,
we can't do anything.
We not belong to this world.
We can't take anythings when we ' back home '.
But the things is,
what you have left for ur family,
ur beloved..
memory? ur good testimony? or?

The next important question is,
where you will going?
Heaven? or ?
Do u sure u will going to heaven?
Maybe you'll think that,
I didn't do anything to harm others.
But, do u already take the 'passport' for going heaven?
Jesus said,
He is the truth, the way and the life.
without him. we can't go to the heavenly father there.
Get it?
Would you believe that, our life is on Jesus's hand?
I believe.
No matter how rich are you,
when HE wanna you ' back home ' ,
U can't say I don't want.
He has his plan for everyone, include you and me.
so,
Do u already get into the salvation of GOD?

[ waiting ] - Z.U.Z.Z

Outing - my 2 sisters ^^

Today,
gather with my two sisters..
Are we look like same ?
haha ^^
They are more beautiful la :)
Since I had left ,
we seldom gather ad.
We are ' SHE ' in the youth last time.
this is because,
We almost together all the time.
We knew each other since we are small.
We come from different family background,
but we are having the One same God.
praise God to let me know 2 of you.

Before outing,
actually I quite worry ,
our frenship not same as last time.
because we din contact each other since a long time.
so I pray to God b4 out,
hehe :)
afraid ma..
But look like quite same as next time. Praise God ^^

Hui Min,
A very friendly girl.
She is the youngest among us.
She is cute yup? hehe ^^
Hye ,don't forget our sushi meal ya :)
she is the most blissful among 3 of us now :)
anyway, jia you.
Don't forget I'm here for you :)

Mei Sim,
actually she act like a older sister among 3 of us.
sometimes, she take care of us.
She beautiful yup? haha ^^
same words la,
I'll be there when you 2 need a listener :)

End of this year,
they have to facing exam lor.
God bless, all the best,
and God is always be with you :)

After their exam,
we might be separate to different places to chase our dream.
But one thing for sure,
2 of you never be forget in my mind, in my heart.
Because of you,
I've a sweet memory for my childhood.
U 2 are my sister as a family.
my lovely sister forever :)
Love you, gals ^^
God bless :)

[waiting] - Z.U.Z.Z

07.09.2010

So enjoy when the time with family :)
Maybe the food just a very simple meal,
but feel happiness^^
Although sometimes,
we will argue with them,
when going with different opinion.
But they still love you and forgive you.
This is call love.
Love is forgiveness.
Love is sacrifice.

That day,
I suddenly counted the date.
Just a wink of time,
Now ad is on September.
after a few months,
is our turn to take exam STPM.
18 years is gonna to be 19 years.
By time to time,
age is increasing.
Secondary skull life will be end soon.
Fren maybe separate to different places.
Will frenship can be continue?
No one can confirm on it.
We never know what will happen on the next second.
Although we have making a lot of planning.
So, treasure every second we have.
Appreciate every breath we take.
Grateful for every person who are around us :)

So, Go for it.
One HOPE
One LOVE
One FAITH
One GOD

[waiting]

I wanted you - Ina

Lately I've been thinking about what I can do
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way. I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore
'Cause we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I, I... I'm so sorry baby
But I, I... I gotta pack up and leave
But I, I'll always remember how we came close
... to being how I wanted to be
I wanted you baby
I wanted you

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

03.09.2010

Jie Jie is going Taiwan to continue her study lor..
Anyway, wish you all the best.

Cousins are going back to their hometown during holiday.
Don't know they will come down to Ipoh or not .
Hope to see you'll soon ^^
Miss you'll. :)

Recently,
I've chat with my ji mui.
Steph and Sarah. :)
I don't know our frenship isn't will become different,
If compare with last time.
We din see each other for a long period ad.
If a not wrong,
since I leave tat day.
Isn't will change when the time is going?
I don't know.

Just now I saw a sentences,
I just wanna a real man.
Yaya,
A few month ago,
I only know ,
dream man and real man is different.
hehe :)
Dream man is a ppl who are only appear in ur dream.
But,
Real man is a ppl who are in this realistic world.
Dream man isn't a fairy tales?
Maybe.

Sometimes I'll think,
isn't my demand too high?
Or my condition too bad?
I don't know. Maybe ^^
As some1 said,
how do you choose ppl, how ppl will choose you.
Ya, it is true.
Anyway,
Now focus on study first ba.
All those things,
Let God lead la.
Not in my control also.
No one will know when it will come.
it's come silently.
If you don't appreciate it, when it come,
it will leave you without inform.
So, appreciate and treasure what we have and the ppl around us.
Godbless :)

Waiting is beautiful. :)
One GOD
One LOVE
One HOPE
One FAITH

[ waiting ] - Z.U.Z.Z

Happy National Day

Today,
a fren asked me tat same question.
Why din trust me :(
hehe ^^

Nothing special with the holiday also.
Eat my favourite pan mee :)
Going JJ with mummy they all.
When reached there,
Din not have any parking.
But when we wanna give up,
Praise God.
The parking suddenly waiting for us ^^
Mummy and Mu si leong buy so many Dynamo. :)
Get you a shocked.. LOL~ XD
13 bottles o.O
When wanna back home,
can enjoy my favourite ice-cream - MCD vanila sundae too :)
God is great, all the time :)
and
Thanks the bro who treat us ^^
Anyway wish you, all the best.
God is be with you :)
Kambatek la..

haha :)
It's the time to do my hw lor..
God bless ^^

One GOD
One HOPE
One LOVE
One FAITH

[ still waiting ]

Simple

Tat day,
b4 end skull,
suddenly, sweating and feel like wanna vomited.
It was scared me..
I didn't know what was going on .. Is there food poisonous again o.O
But, praise GOD.
after back home , have sweet sleep..
All things become fine ad. :)

I'm not a perfect girl.
I'm just an ordinary girl.
You are who are you.
and,
me is who am I.
You and I are 2 different type of ppl.
You have ur special personality.
Pls be confident to urselves.
stay happily and blissful.
One day. you will having a guy who will really suit for you.
Don't worry.
God bless ^^
Not easily to build a true friendship.
Especially there are built with many many years.
Don't simply say broke.
Just like relationship too.
Don't simply start and end a relationship.
Pls be honest to urselves.
Feel and the heart would not tell lie.
You and the GOD are only one know what are you thinking about.

That's all ^^
Good night :)
God bless

one LOVE
one HOPE
one FAITH.

[Go4 GOD]
[keep waiting]

26.08.2010

So lucky, have been choose by Miss Yong to hand in file for check.
Good or bad?
Depends how I'm thinking lor..
Need to rush and complete the unfinished part..
Quite many de..
Haiz :(

Maree has considering whether take polytechnic or stay in the form 6.
But, just hope her think twice and choose the one which is suitable for you.
buddy, support you. ^^
and pray for you too :)

Disiplin - is the thing what you are require to do and when you are require to do ^^
Jie told is today during acc tt.
Ur attitude can affect ur future.
Ur attitude can determine ur life.
That is what pastor has been told us last time.
Attitude is so important.
It show our personality.

Work hard for the study.
because I'm do for you.
I'm go for you.
All because of you.
Pls give me wisdom,
give me strength,
and change me to what you want me to be, LORD.
Here I am.
and my prayer too.
AMEN!!
[grace]


[keep waiting]

All have past.

This few day,
have happened some unexpected things.
Something had started and end within 2 days.
fast as lightning.

Actually I'm hope they can be longer..
But unexpected.
It also affected their frenship.
Worth?

Honestly,
for me, it is not worth.
Tat why,
Think carefully and make a decision tat you will never regret.
Take responsibility on your decision.

It is hard to be friend same as last time after break up in a relationship.
Actually,
She need not compared with some1 or worry or suspect anything.
Our story already is a 'past tense'.
now,
Just only friend is the 'present tense' and the' future tense' too.

Friend.
tat kind of love is call fren's love
not couple love.


-still waiting-

For you

Just back home..
Just now was happened some awesome things.
Great things.
I believe that I never be the same.
I believe.
Some song are flowing in my heart..
Yaya~
Your presence, Your love is precious than anything.
Your grace is more than I need.
You know my everything.
Everything is in your hand.
I surrender all to you.
Left my life on to the altar.
Love you, God ^^

From, ur child - grace.

Hillsong United Concert

Hillsong United concert (o.O)
They are great. ^^
So enjoy in the concert.
God will answer us, 'I know'
When we talking with HIM.
How grateful am I..
How powerful of the connection with GOD..
I hope I can go more near to him..

' With You every moment,
My sweetest devotion ,
my heart is stirred to know you more,
With you every moment,
Like dew from the heaven,
My JESUS,
it's you that I adore '

That day is the second day ad..
The first day had about 4,000 ppl :)
Praise GOD!!!
Only HIM can do this.
Let's come and rock the city.
Keep in Pray ^^
One LOVE
One HOPE
One Faith




~still waiting~

Finished Exam

Today,
Finally finished exam :)
But,
Some paper is look like 'GOOD'
Haiz :(
As they said, can 'da bao' ad..

Another busy wednesday ..
Acc tuition + P.am tuition..
When on the way going tuition..
Suddenly I'm felt moody,
There are some question come into my mind,

There are many ppl making a lot of promises..
Especially,
The common promise - ' I love you forever '
but,
How many do the ppl will really realizes their promises?

I don't know.

Anyway,
Life is going on..
Be happy always

Godbless .
Emmanuel - God is always be with you :)

-Still Waiting-

31.07.2010

First time, Received flower (9 Rose)..
LOL~
Shocked o.O
But,
we are enjoyed that night.
This 2 kids really really really very cute. ^^

18's birthday,
Sweet 18 :)
Time is going very very fast..
If review,
It's just look like yesterday.
Is God blessed all those things.
His grace, I can't count it..

Buddy,
U'll are great.
Although u'll din celebrated birthday with me,
But,
u'll wishes is enough for me.
Although sometimes we have quarrel,
But,
because we are friend.
We come back together.
Thanks :)

My cousin's birthday is same with me :)
Haha..
His gf was going back home and celebrated with him..
So sweet ^^
I think he is sweet too. XD
Hope to see him soon..
Then we go to find more delicious food together k?

Another 3 cousins are going for U.
Congratulation ya..
Kam Ba Tek and take k lar.
And thanks for all the precious opinion for me.
Thanks for caring ya..
We r family.
I love my family.
I love you.

Thanks God for all those blessing.
God Bless ^^

Complicated

My left hand is quite pain.
Some more,
just now had cut my left hand's finger too.
Am I so clever? XD
Wrap book also can cut my thumb.
haha~

Recently,
I found that,
Family is better.
They are the one who always beside me,
ready to listen all my trouble,
encourage me and
support me.
They see my tears, comfort me.
I didn't means that friend are not important.
They are also a part of my life.
But,
recently,
something has change.
Temper? and so on..
Good or bad? I don't know.
Now,
I just feel like..
I'm stand in the center.
I'm worry I'll say wrong things.
I'm not a people who had 'two faces'
I worry my opinion will let them feel like
I'm such a person like that.
Human being really complicated,
especially their mind-thinking.
Sometimes will contrary to our expected.

Trouble

Just finished lunch - Pan Mee with Wei and Yin.
Quite trouble recently.
They are drop acc and take history.
All the management become messy.
The Acc tt is quite far for me.
I've license but no car let me drive.
No only that,
I'm scared will kick by Ah Jie.
I'm worried I not suit for taking acc.
So many thing need to worry.
Beside that,
actually I dislike ask ppl fetch me.
I'm scared.
Some ppl will silent also although they reluctant.
So, if I stop tat TT, what will happen?
and some more,
Eko TT will be start on this sat.
Another problem again.
How come always use other's petrol. (bu hao yi si)

************************************************************
It's hard to guess what are other thinking.
and tired too.
Who can listen my misery??
PPL really very complicated.
Communication is a knowledge.
In this world, around us,
there are different type of ppl.
Some are scary,
some are good,
some are contrary to our expected.
How about me?