Merry Christmas ^0^

Merry Christmas :)
Lord Jesus, thank you for your love.
Thank you for come to the earth.
I'm grateful to be your child.
Maybe I'm not the best but
Lord Jesus, I pray that a new year,
a new life , a new me. :)
A changing life. ^^
Watashi wa,-nushi iesu o aishi teru

Not what you want me to do for you
But is
What can I do for you. :)

This year is a special Christmas.
Although this year don't have much present.
But the greatest present for me this year is the time which spend with my family.
Mummy's cooked.
Although not the shark fin that kind of food,
but mummy's cooked always is the most delicious food :)
A blessed time with family.
How sweet the family that God have giving to me.
Thanks, God.
God, You're Awesome, A great God.

One LOVE
One HOPE
One FAITH
ONE GOD


[ A new me, keep in pray - Z.U.Z.Z ]

Appreciate What We Have

Recently quite hot in suicide topic.
For me,
I definitely disagree solving a problem by using this solution.
I felt that,
Using this way is not taking responsibility on their life
and quite selfish.
It not a mature thinking.
Just try to skip away from it.
They have bring the sadness to their family.
Even for some innocent people.
Parents used to take care of you with all their love,
maybe they have put some expectation on you.
You never know how sad they are.
How pain in their heart.

In hospital,
In this world,
How many ppls wish to live longer..
But they din have the chance to continue their life.
Life is the present from GOD.
Why we don't appreciate it ?
It is a very precious gift.
Maybe somebody will blame that,
why my life so tough?
BUT if you compare with the others,
we are blessed.
Thanks GOD for every breath we have.
GOD BLESS.

[A thankful heart is more than enough - Z.U.Z.Z]

Faith :)

Go or not go ?
I wished to go but it had crushed with my tuition.
So. now the thing that I can do is PRAY.
Just can PRAY.
Just leave it to GOD.

Walk by faith, not by sight.
Don't let the world steal your feelings,
HOPE, LOVE and FAITH.
The most greatest is LOVE :)

It's your decision.
How do you live,
happy or not.
blissful or not.
So,
God bless you :)


[ In my life, YOU always will be the only,
No one can replace YOU - Z.U.Z.Z ]

Sorry That I Loved You - Anthony Neely

词:倪安东/Skot suyimi(中译/陶晶莹)
曲:Skot Suyimi
LRC制作:IN-CORNER QQ:11505166

For all of the time that i tried for your smile
For making you think that i was worth the while

So your love love love love love would be mine
For sending you flowers and holding your hand
That no one was there to take a stand
But then love love love made us blind
And I'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you

I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that i have done to you
I wish that i could make it right
So sorry that i loved you
Sorry that i needed you
Sorry that i hold you tight

And I'm So sorry for...
Making you love me and saying goodbye
For being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by
For giving you every thing that you dreamed
For taking it back when i fled the scene
sorry love,for wasting your time

And I'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffS40XbwUZI

23.11.2010

2010 skull life is end.
Which means that LOWER 6 life is end.
2011 is coming.
Upper 6 life is begin.
A great challenges is coming soon.

My holiday is full of tuition.
Some of my fren also work hard for earn more money.
Maree Ooi also having a blessed trip with her lovely hubby.
How sweet they are. :)
I really hope one day can receive their wedding invitation card.
Fren, stay blissful ya :)

Just now I saw a advertisment in internet.
- http://www.coos.org.sg/Assets/downloads/GoodNewsRallyFlyer_web.pdf
Pastor Philip and VanNess Wu is coming to SG.
To have a salvation meeting - SALVATION MESSAGE AND PRAYERS FOR THE SICK
on 26 & 27 November 2010.
Keep praying for this meeting although I'm not attend the meeting.
May God annoiting them and so on.
Glory is for God.

[ Hope, Love. Faith ]
[ but LOVE is the biggest ]

[ Surrender all to YOU, Lord. - Z.U.Z.Z ]

19.10.2010

如果你想说, 我愿意听.
不想说,我也不问.
因为,
如果说错话,
只会让我更恨,
更讨厌我自己.

习惯了伪装,
开始分不清,
哪个是真正的自己.

话少,这不是我.
话多,容易得罪人.
最亲的人,
都不了解自己.
何况是别人.

我不懂得社交.
我不懂得沟通.
我不懂得用话来讨好人.
说难听点,
说话没经大脑.
这就是我.

我无心的话,
变成了无心的伤害.
也成了我的内疚.
内疚一步一步的前进.
内疚没有解药.
唯一的解药,
应该就是我自己.
释放就是唯一的药方.

Disappointed to myself

Today is the 1st day of final exam.
Am2..
I'm not sure will ' da bao' or not..
Just let it be.

So, now need to memorize PP1 for tmr.
Too many bab need to cover.
Honestly,
I don't know how to start it.

Quite disappointed to myself.
Freaking hate this type of feeling.
This feeling come to attack me again.
I don't know how to overcome it.
Just felt like shame to face other.
Hate it.

Sometimes isn't live like a dumb will better?
At least can't 'dak zui' others.
I'm just like a idiot.
I don't know how to communicate with others.
I don't know how I share my thinking with you'll.
I always makes misunderstanding my meaning.
I just like a stupid.
I don't know how to build a relationships with other.
I don't know how to talk.
I don't know how to show my care to other.

More I've talk, more mistake I've make.
No ppl understanding.
Just be a annoying person.
Isn't alone is better?
At the end,
I'm alone.

Sometimes after I said something,
actually I not mention anything.
But, I've said in incorrect ways.
I don't have speaking skill.
I don't know how to describe my opinion.
That why, I always hurt other,
but sometimes I didn't realise it.
I really not willing to hurt other.
This what we call stupid. Idiot.

Is possible, have a person understand me?
I think no.
Except God.
The only one who know me well.

How I change?
Isn't the only solution-
Don't talk.
or talk by using brain.

Exam is start

Today just finished Muet - Speaking component.
Just felt like ok.
Not very good but also not very very bad.
2nd chance will on next year.

Exam will start coming Monday.
haven't prepare.
haiz~ Final exam..
challenge again.

Gambatek la, frenz :)
God bless.
All the best :)


[ One GOD ]
[ One HOPE ]
[ One LOVE ]
[ One FAITH ]


[ waiting - Z.U.Z.Z ]

飞轮海 - 心疼你的心疼

总是在夜深人静想一个人
你留给我的回忆 映着月光更深刻
如果说后悔可以杀一个人
我已经为你死掉 多少次了呢

你的泪痕 你默默忍耐过的寒冷
我现在才懂得

心疼你的心疼 想紧紧把你抱着
去弥补从前所有不完整
让我让你快乐 为你的微笑负责
承诺过的未来还在等
等我们的爱重生

时间是一道不能反转的门
那时的年少轻狂 如今想来多残忍
只不过这个世上没有一本
能够教我们如何 相爱的手册

你的泪痕 你默默忍耐过的寒冷
我现在才懂得

心疼你的心疼 想紧紧把你抱着
去弥补从前所有不完整
让我让你快乐 为你的微笑负责
承诺过的未来还在等
等我们的爱重生

再也不会让你受伤了
我已完全明白爱能教人多心疼
这次换我等 换我为你牺牲
让我守护着你 跟我一起走过时间的河

心疼你的心疼 想紧紧把你抱着
去弥补从前所有不完整
让我让你快乐 为你的微笑负责
承诺过的未来还在等
等我们的爱重生

[ 等待 ]

家好月圆庆中秋

Recently, I have watch ' Moonlight Resonance'.
I admit that it is great and touched.
Can learn a lot through it.
It had show,
how great the love of a mum.
A unity family,
The love from a family.
The important of family.
Their encourages when one of the family member having problem.
Their forgiveness and forget each other's fault.
That is what the love about.
Love is selfless not selfish.
Love is forgive.
Love is kind.
But how many ppl can really do it?
Included me.

I can't do it.
I've my anger.
Sometimes, my word will hurt someone.
Sometimes, my attitude will hurt someone.
Sometimes, my character will annoying by someone.
Sometimes, I've ignore other's feeling.
Sometimes, I may overestimating myself.
I've my own shortcoming.
Love the person that you dislike really very difficult.
If wanna you forgive and forget a person that you hated and her/his fault,
that really hard.

But,
How about
Let us give ourselves a chance to get free from it.
If you don't release it, it will be our burden.
We can't really enjoy the joyful moment in our life.
Happy not same as joy.
That are 2 different things.

Maybe you'll said, dun be too naif.
But I still believe that.
I think it will never be same,
When you open ur heart.
Maybe we will found the world,
not same as what we see b4.
Maybe we will find something,
we do not notice b4.
You view maybe not same as last time.

Godbless :)



[ waiting ]- Z.U.Z.Z

Heaven's passport

Today,
a news is shocked me.
It let me ' wake up'.
- A pastor has passed away because of a accident.
Just 30++ years.

It let me realise that,
Life is not a very long journey.
It can be very short.
We really do not what will happen on the next second.
When God call you back home,
we can't do anything.
We not belong to this world.
We can't take anythings when we ' back home '.
But the things is,
what you have left for ur family,
ur beloved..
memory? ur good testimony? or?

The next important question is,
where you will going?
Heaven? or ?
Do u sure u will going to heaven?
Maybe you'll think that,
I didn't do anything to harm others.
But, do u already take the 'passport' for going heaven?
Jesus said,
He is the truth, the way and the life.
without him. we can't go to the heavenly father there.
Get it?
Would you believe that, our life is on Jesus's hand?
I believe.
No matter how rich are you,
when HE wanna you ' back home ' ,
U can't say I don't want.
He has his plan for everyone, include you and me.
so,
Do u already get into the salvation of GOD?

[ waiting ] - Z.U.Z.Z

Outing - my 2 sisters ^^

Today,
gather with my two sisters..
Are we look like same ?
haha ^^
They are more beautiful la :)
Since I had left ,
we seldom gather ad.
We are ' SHE ' in the youth last time.
this is because,
We almost together all the time.
We knew each other since we are small.
We come from different family background,
but we are having the One same God.
praise God to let me know 2 of you.

Before outing,
actually I quite worry ,
our frenship not same as last time.
because we din contact each other since a long time.
so I pray to God b4 out,
hehe :)
afraid ma..
But look like quite same as next time. Praise God ^^

Hui Min,
A very friendly girl.
She is the youngest among us.
She is cute yup? hehe ^^
Hye ,don't forget our sushi meal ya :)
she is the most blissful among 3 of us now :)
anyway, jia you.
Don't forget I'm here for you :)

Mei Sim,
actually she act like a older sister among 3 of us.
sometimes, she take care of us.
She beautiful yup? haha ^^
same words la,
I'll be there when you 2 need a listener :)

End of this year,
they have to facing exam lor.
God bless, all the best,
and God is always be with you :)

After their exam,
we might be separate to different places to chase our dream.
But one thing for sure,
2 of you never be forget in my mind, in my heart.
Because of you,
I've a sweet memory for my childhood.
U 2 are my sister as a family.
my lovely sister forever :)
Love you, gals ^^
God bless :)

[waiting] - Z.U.Z.Z

07.09.2010

So enjoy when the time with family :)
Maybe the food just a very simple meal,
but feel happiness^^
Although sometimes,
we will argue with them,
when going with different opinion.
But they still love you and forgive you.
This is call love.
Love is forgiveness.
Love is sacrifice.

That day,
I suddenly counted the date.
Just a wink of time,
Now ad is on September.
after a few months,
is our turn to take exam STPM.
18 years is gonna to be 19 years.
By time to time,
age is increasing.
Secondary skull life will be end soon.
Fren maybe separate to different places.
Will frenship can be continue?
No one can confirm on it.
We never know what will happen on the next second.
Although we have making a lot of planning.
So, treasure every second we have.
Appreciate every breath we take.
Grateful for every person who are around us :)

So, Go for it.
One HOPE
One LOVE
One FAITH
One GOD

[waiting]

I wanted you - Ina

Lately I've been thinking about what I can do
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way. I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore
'Cause we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I, I... I'm so sorry baby
But I, I... I gotta pack up and leave
But I, I'll always remember how we came close
... to being how I wanted to be
I wanted you baby
I wanted you

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

03.09.2010

Jie Jie is going Taiwan to continue her study lor..
Anyway, wish you all the best.

Cousins are going back to their hometown during holiday.
Don't know they will come down to Ipoh or not .
Hope to see you'll soon ^^
Miss you'll. :)

Recently,
I've chat with my ji mui.
Steph and Sarah. :)
I don't know our frenship isn't will become different,
If compare with last time.
We din see each other for a long period ad.
If a not wrong,
since I leave tat day.
Isn't will change when the time is going?
I don't know.

Just now I saw a sentences,
I just wanna a real man.
Yaya,
A few month ago,
I only know ,
dream man and real man is different.
hehe :)
Dream man is a ppl who are only appear in ur dream.
But,
Real man is a ppl who are in this realistic world.
Dream man isn't a fairy tales?
Maybe.

Sometimes I'll think,
isn't my demand too high?
Or my condition too bad?
I don't know. Maybe ^^
As some1 said,
how do you choose ppl, how ppl will choose you.
Ya, it is true.
Anyway,
Now focus on study first ba.
All those things,
Let God lead la.
Not in my control also.
No one will know when it will come.
it's come silently.
If you don't appreciate it, when it come,
it will leave you without inform.
So, appreciate and treasure what we have and the ppl around us.
Godbless :)

Waiting is beautiful. :)
One GOD
One LOVE
One HOPE
One FAITH

[ waiting ] - Z.U.Z.Z

Happy National Day

Today,
a fren asked me tat same question.
Why din trust me :(
hehe ^^

Nothing special with the holiday also.
Eat my favourite pan mee :)
Going JJ with mummy they all.
When reached there,
Din not have any parking.
But when we wanna give up,
Praise God.
The parking suddenly waiting for us ^^
Mummy and Mu si leong buy so many Dynamo. :)
Get you a shocked.. LOL~ XD
13 bottles o.O
When wanna back home,
can enjoy my favourite ice-cream - MCD vanila sundae too :)
God is great, all the time :)
and
Thanks the bro who treat us ^^
Anyway wish you, all the best.
God is be with you :)
Kambatek la..

haha :)
It's the time to do my hw lor..
God bless ^^

One GOD
One HOPE
One LOVE
One FAITH

[ still waiting ]

Simple

Tat day,
b4 end skull,
suddenly, sweating and feel like wanna vomited.
It was scared me..
I didn't know what was going on .. Is there food poisonous again o.O
But, praise GOD.
after back home , have sweet sleep..
All things become fine ad. :)

I'm not a perfect girl.
I'm just an ordinary girl.
You are who are you.
and,
me is who am I.
You and I are 2 different type of ppl.
You have ur special personality.
Pls be confident to urselves.
stay happily and blissful.
One day. you will having a guy who will really suit for you.
Don't worry.
God bless ^^
Not easily to build a true friendship.
Especially there are built with many many years.
Don't simply say broke.
Just like relationship too.
Don't simply start and end a relationship.
Pls be honest to urselves.
Feel and the heart would not tell lie.
You and the GOD are only one know what are you thinking about.

That's all ^^
Good night :)
God bless

one LOVE
one HOPE
one FAITH.

[Go4 GOD]
[keep waiting]

26.08.2010

So lucky, have been choose by Miss Yong to hand in file for check.
Good or bad?
Depends how I'm thinking lor..
Need to rush and complete the unfinished part..
Quite many de..
Haiz :(

Maree has considering whether take polytechnic or stay in the form 6.
But, just hope her think twice and choose the one which is suitable for you.
buddy, support you. ^^
and pray for you too :)

Disiplin - is the thing what you are require to do and when you are require to do ^^
Jie told is today during acc tt.
Ur attitude can affect ur future.
Ur attitude can determine ur life.
That is what pastor has been told us last time.
Attitude is so important.
It show our personality.

Work hard for the study.
because I'm do for you.
I'm go for you.
All because of you.
Pls give me wisdom,
give me strength,
and change me to what you want me to be, LORD.
Here I am.
and my prayer too.
AMEN!!
[grace]


[keep waiting]

All have past.

This few day,
have happened some unexpected things.
Something had started and end within 2 days.
fast as lightning.

Actually I'm hope they can be longer..
But unexpected.
It also affected their frenship.
Worth?

Honestly,
for me, it is not worth.
Tat why,
Think carefully and make a decision tat you will never regret.
Take responsibility on your decision.

It is hard to be friend same as last time after break up in a relationship.
Actually,
She need not compared with some1 or worry or suspect anything.
Our story already is a 'past tense'.
now,
Just only friend is the 'present tense' and the' future tense' too.

Friend.
tat kind of love is call fren's love
not couple love.


-still waiting-

For you

Just back home..
Just now was happened some awesome things.
Great things.
I believe that I never be the same.
I believe.
Some song are flowing in my heart..
Yaya~
Your presence, Your love is precious than anything.
Your grace is more than I need.
You know my everything.
Everything is in your hand.
I surrender all to you.
Left my life on to the altar.
Love you, God ^^

From, ur child - grace.

Hillsong United Concert

Hillsong United concert (o.O)
They are great. ^^
So enjoy in the concert.
God will answer us, 'I know'
When we talking with HIM.
How grateful am I..
How powerful of the connection with GOD..
I hope I can go more near to him..

' With You every moment,
My sweetest devotion ,
my heart is stirred to know you more,
With you every moment,
Like dew from the heaven,
My JESUS,
it's you that I adore '

That day is the second day ad..
The first day had about 4,000 ppl :)
Praise GOD!!!
Only HIM can do this.
Let's come and rock the city.
Keep in Pray ^^
One LOVE
One HOPE
One Faith




~still waiting~

Finished Exam

Today,
Finally finished exam :)
But,
Some paper is look like 'GOOD'
Haiz :(
As they said, can 'da bao' ad..

Another busy wednesday ..
Acc tuition + P.am tuition..
When on the way going tuition..
Suddenly I'm felt moody,
There are some question come into my mind,

There are many ppl making a lot of promises..
Especially,
The common promise - ' I love you forever '
but,
How many do the ppl will really realizes their promises?

I don't know.

Anyway,
Life is going on..
Be happy always

Godbless .
Emmanuel - God is always be with you :)

-Still Waiting-

31.07.2010

First time, Received flower (9 Rose)..
LOL~
Shocked o.O
But,
we are enjoyed that night.
This 2 kids really really really very cute. ^^

18's birthday,
Sweet 18 :)
Time is going very very fast..
If review,
It's just look like yesterday.
Is God blessed all those things.
His grace, I can't count it..

Buddy,
U'll are great.
Although u'll din celebrated birthday with me,
But,
u'll wishes is enough for me.
Although sometimes we have quarrel,
But,
because we are friend.
We come back together.
Thanks :)

My cousin's birthday is same with me :)
Haha..
His gf was going back home and celebrated with him..
So sweet ^^
I think he is sweet too. XD
Hope to see him soon..
Then we go to find more delicious food together k?

Another 3 cousins are going for U.
Congratulation ya..
Kam Ba Tek and take k lar.
And thanks for all the precious opinion for me.
Thanks for caring ya..
We r family.
I love my family.
I love you.

Thanks God for all those blessing.
God Bless ^^

Complicated

My left hand is quite pain.
Some more,
just now had cut my left hand's finger too.
Am I so clever? XD
Wrap book also can cut my thumb.
haha~

Recently,
I found that,
Family is better.
They are the one who always beside me,
ready to listen all my trouble,
encourage me and
support me.
They see my tears, comfort me.
I didn't means that friend are not important.
They are also a part of my life.
But,
recently,
something has change.
Temper? and so on..
Good or bad? I don't know.
Now,
I just feel like..
I'm stand in the center.
I'm worry I'll say wrong things.
I'm not a people who had 'two faces'
I worry my opinion will let them feel like
I'm such a person like that.
Human being really complicated,
especially their mind-thinking.
Sometimes will contrary to our expected.

Trouble

Just finished lunch - Pan Mee with Wei and Yin.
Quite trouble recently.
They are drop acc and take history.
All the management become messy.
The Acc tt is quite far for me.
I've license but no car let me drive.
No only that,
I'm scared will kick by Ah Jie.
I'm worried I not suit for taking acc.
So many thing need to worry.
Beside that,
actually I dislike ask ppl fetch me.
I'm scared.
Some ppl will silent also although they reluctant.
So, if I stop tat TT, what will happen?
and some more,
Eko TT will be start on this sat.
Another problem again.
How come always use other's petrol. (bu hao yi si)

************************************************************
It's hard to guess what are other thinking.
and tired too.
Who can listen my misery??
PPL really very complicated.
Communication is a knowledge.
In this world, around us,
there are different type of ppl.
Some are scary,
some are good,
some are contrary to our expected.
How about me?

12-07-2010

Finally 6RK2. At least still in account class.
But, am I really suit for account?
The feeling of scare is attacking me.
If acc teacher advise me drop it, what should I do?
I'm really very very scared.
I do not how could I walk in the future.

Would YOU walk with me?
Would YOU stand by me?
Would YOU beside me?
I know YOU WILL.
Because YOU NEVER leave me alone.
LORD, here I am.
I need you , all of my days.
I love you with all my strength, all my mind, all my soul and all my heart.

z.u.z.z.

I'm lost

Just back home.
Yup~ having fun with buddy..
They are very take k of me. Thx a lot.
After this time, I don't when will we steamboat again.
Maybe next year. :)

Form 6's life not easy.
But, I really put my effort on it.
I try my best in the study. Make sure I'm understand.
Hand in homework on time.
I decided that,
This time Go4 God, no matter how tough is it.
Because I know I'm not alone. HE is my supplier.
But, mum.. I need your support too.

When I really being serious and work hard for it,
why so many trouble come and try to stop me.. blocked me..
My class is having 37 student ad. Next week new comer again.
It is breaking the skull record. But also the beginning of the problem.
Ministry of Education has come with letter and need our class separate into 2.
but account class only one.
Who don't have account basic will transfer to history class.
What should I do???
Tat is not my interested subject. Some more is my week subject too.
Is good news or bad news??
I'm lost.

Tat time

I'm scare when I'm alone in the house.
Someone had broke my house's window.
Another 'accident' again.
How many times he had do something and had scared me.
Even my family. I don't know who r u.
But Pls STOP it!!!

At that time, my heart just know how to call Jesus.
and Hope mummy faster back home.
Am I so worst?
I'm scare at tat few hours.
I miss mummy at tat time.
At my heart, when I listened any sound,
I just know to call Jesus.
I dun know who can help me.
Nobody beside me. Helpless.
The only One I can rely is Jesus.
*********************************************
Another thing,
Father's day is coming soon.
No matter whr are you,
Just wish you, Happy Father's Day.
Hope you are fine now.
Happy & enjoy you life now.
Jesus love you.
Hope one day can see you in the church.
If you are serve God too, that is better. :)


♥ my nick name '自由自在'

11-06-2010

终于有勇气道歉了,
也向他说谢谢了.
总算放下了.
可能对他而言,
我无埋头的,无端端的向他说什么对不起啊..
可是,对我来说,
我可以放下那天的自责了.我敢认错了.我肯去面对了.
***********************************************
我承认,
我是习惯性依赖的女生.
我不擅长沟通,也不擅长表达.
尤其与不熟悉的人在一起.
有时侯,
我得罪人都不懂.
我真的不懂怎样去告诉你们,我的想法,我心里想说的话.
结果有时侯我说出来了,
却不小心伤害了别人.我其实不是那种意思.
*************************************************
Dear my buddy,
I've touched by you, guys. (especially Maree Ooi, Cheah Wei)
Thank you for your helping.
Thank you for take care of me. (holding my hand when cross the road, LOL :P )
Thank you for didn't leave me alone.
Thank you for remind me all the things tat I'll forget. ( Big Prawn Head :P)
Thank you for ur advise even scolded on my foolish.
Thank you for tolerant of my shortcomings.
Thank you for comfort me when I'm down.
Thank you for colour my high skull life.
and
Thank you Lord, for bringing you'll in my life.
Thank you Lord, let me can meet with you'll.

复杂

以前总觉得待在灰色地带就好.
不前又不后,不左又不右,
的地方.
中间就好.

直到有一位牧师说,
不要好象圣经所说,
不冷又不热.
那样,
神会将他吐出来.
他宁可我们只是冷或热. (启示录)
很震撼我的心的一句话.
带给我很多的感想.

***********************************
有些事情过去了,
是时候把它卸下了.
背地太多,
辛苦的还是自己.
'凡劳苦担重担的人,
到我这里来,
必得安息.'

对于他,我就算说一万次对不起,
他也看不到,也不会知道.
也与事无补.
内疚.
自责. 又能怎样?
或许有一天见到他,
我可能转身就走.
就像那天,
静静的离开.
也许他也不记得有这个人了.
应该吧..


**********************************
中六..
它让我第一次做功课做到凌晨四点.
不过,
感谢神,
力量从他而来.
不然,我也不懂怎样去熬过隔天的课.
开始要适应读书的生活.
要开始背书.温习.
开始觉得时间不够我用了.
很多节目都要放下了.
差不多每天都要补习到九点半.
回到家快十点了.
现在我的睡觉时间都快要改去凌晨1点过后了.
主,就让我为你而做吧.
不要让我停下来想有的没的,不可能发生的事.
专著在学业上吧.
其他的,有空再说.

自由自在,加油.

22-05-2010

Skull has reopen.
So, my Form 6 life is begin.
Quite stress. Bcause all the teacher not same as b4.
Straighter than b4 and more punctual.
lol :)
Furthermore, the subject harder than b4.
Especially I didn't have any basic on it.
So, need work hard than other.
But, Praise God for all those things and wat has HIS prepared for me.

Today, my best fren has ask me something.
Dear, it's not some very private things la. haha~
Maybe you'll think tat I'm not mature.
Maybe I'm.
Actually I dislike a complicated love.
I dun wan a love which consist of many misunderstanding.
I also dun know why.
Just like wat had been act in 'Next stop, happiness'.
In the beginning, they are lack of trust and hurt each other.
but,
at the end, they are having a happy ending la. :)

So, focus in study 1st.
hehe~

Contradiction feeling

Just back from song practise .
Everyone need to share a few word about impression tat bro.H.T had been given to us last week.
For me,
he is a talent singer and humbly servant.
He is pro, work hard and failing love in music.
but, I feel so sorry to him.
On the saturday service.

But,
is apology useful?
'Sorry' can't reparation anything.
That meeting had been topple by me.
What can I say?
I think I'll be the worst keyboardist tat he never seen before.

A bit shame, pai seh when facing him.
Not because of his straight but
is can't present something tat he want.
Can't fulfil his request.

Maybe you say tat do it for God not for him.
but,
tat service I also can't accept,
Will God accept ? I dun know.
But Thanks God,
through the prayer,
God has set me free.
He has bring me overcome tat feeling, sadness.
If not, I don't know wat will happen on me.
Tat why I say,
God, pls do not let go ur hand.
I can't live without you.
All the problem, I just can tell you.
I'm a bit weak sharing my problem with other ppl although she is one of my best fren.
I don't know how to describe it.
But,
in my heart I can. Weird?
I also dun know why.
Maybe because of I'm the only child in my family.
From the early age has been used to. :)
Anyway,
Keep in pray. Godbless.
Good night.

ONE LOVE, ONE HOPE, ONE FAITH.


~Grace~

Random Writing

When I heard my best fren told me wat is happened between her boyfren and her,
some of joke, sweet memory and how they overcome their problem or
quarrel and so on~
I can feel tat, they are love each other.
They are more sweeter than before.
Although now they are just 18.
In the future, we don't know what will going on..
So, treasure on it, my fren.

Sometimes, I'll think how about me? haha!!
(Single-life now)

My fren always scolded me,
Why you self-abased?
I also don't know why.
When I look to my eye,
is tat the problem?
Maybe~

If I say I don't care about it,
I'm telling a lie.

So, how about me?
I don't know. Just surrender all to HIM.
For someone,maybe it just like a game.
But for me, it is a serious thing.
Anyway, PRAY 1st. haha~
So,
focus in study 1st. haha~~~

God, thanks for everything.
God, pls do not let go of my hand.
Hold fast to my hand.
Pls do not let go.
~Love you~

I believe in you -- 陳孟奇

我要举起双手 献上我所有
你给我力量 让我向前走
纵然面对太多的困难
你依然在我的身旁
我相信 我全然的相信

I believe in you
不会再有任何的疑惑保留
I believe in you
不要放开我的手
I believe in you
我的眼泪不再因悲伤而流
主我相信
Cause I believe in you

主我们愿全心相信你真理
真爱的力量 使我有勇气
纵然面对太多的困难
你依然在我的身旁
我相信 我全然的相信

I believe in you
不会再有任何的疑惑保留
I believe in you
不要放开我的手
I believe in you
我的眼泪不再因悲伤而流
主我相信
Cause I believe in you

I believe in you
我要举起双手 献上我所有
主我相信
Cause I believe in you

I believe in you
我的眼泪不再因悲伤而流
Yes I believe in you~

七种对不起

男孩和女孩从小就认识，男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾，每次男孩总是满载而归，女孩却是两手空空，女孩总是失落的含着眼泪，独自一个人回到家， 然后闷闷不乐。晚饭前，男孩敲响女孩家的门，女孩一见是男孩，扭头就走，男孩追上前，对女孩说：“对不起，我把你的虾都捉走了，给，我把它们养在小鱼缸 里，送给你。”女孩眉头一放，慧心的笑了，就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年，转眼，他们各自成长着。

~纯纯的“对不起”~

男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩，经常会把女孩逗到哭，然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止，直到长大后，也是如此。
男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有，然后躲在远处，看女孩着急的走投无路，等着女孩拨通他的手机，然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。可男孩，依旧那 么喜欢这样的女孩。他窃窃的从远处走来，灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车，任由女孩在一旁发牢骚，男孩却暗自窃喜，然后委屈的对女孩说：“对不起， 我知道错了。”随即，女孩便会柔弱下来，告诉男孩下次不允许那样，男孩点头，于是，那时的他们每天都充满着笑容。

~“对不起”的快乐~

大学毕业后，男孩和女孩各自有了工作，男孩的工作总是很忙，有时一个月都休息不到一次，而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她，终 于，他们有了第一次的吵架。女孩委屈的哭起来，可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩：“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续了很久。终于，女孩还是忍不住，主动和 男孩和好了。后来很多次男孩和女孩都因为这样的小事而吵得不可开交，可每次，都是女孩先妥协。

那年，女孩生日，男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日，女孩欣喜不已，她在家精心打扮，等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日，这一等就是凌晨，女孩在睡 梦中醒来，脸上挂着泪痕，男孩见到女孩，心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕：“对不起，嫁给我好吗？”于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。

~“对不起”也是一种承诺~


婚后，男孩的事业大有成就，经常有许多应酬，而女孩已经成为一个专职太太了，每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭，把家里收拾的干干净净，她经常会去菜场买回一些小河虾放在鱼缸里养着，男孩总问他为什么，女孩却总是慧心的一笑。
慢慢的，男孩每次回家，身上总是充满了不同的香水味道，而每次没等女孩问，男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。女孩黯然，那时起，女孩不太爱说话了，也不 像以前那么开朗了，她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里，抱着枕头看韩剧，然后随着剧情哭泣，夜深时，就会疯狂的大哭。以后的日子里，男孩回来时，身上的香水味只有 一种味道了，女孩从来不问，可是男孩依旧说：“对不起，今天又去应酬了。”

~“对不起”，谎言的开始~


渐渐的，男孩开始不回家，或总是在外出差，男孩的事业越来越好，身边都是奉承的人，他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着，而 女孩，几乎不出门了，她总会去超市买上很多方便面，和一些必要的日用品，然后把自己关在家里，这一呆就是很久。从前，女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天，而现 在，她孤身一人，身边没有一个可以说话的人，每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家，男孩总是仓促的回答到：“对不起，我太忙了。”女孩，失落的扣上电话，那以后 她再也没有问男孩什么时候会回家。

~“对不起”，只是个敷衍的方式~

女孩学着电视上的样子，开始打扮自己，她觉得男孩不回家，也许是看腻了她，她决定不再颓废，自己的幸福应该靠自己争取，而不是无谓的后退。
那天，女孩心血来潮，按照地址去了男孩工作的地方，那是女孩第一次去，也是唯一的一次。女孩涩涩的按下电梯，来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方，她细细的 观察这个公司的每个角落，这里的一切，她都觉得很好看。终于，绕过长长的办公走廊，她来到男孩的办公室，轻轻的推开门……女孩愣住了，眼前看到的不是自己 的丈夫，也不是那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子，更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩，而是一个正在和别的女人做爱的男人。那个女人坐在桌子 上，******的发出微弱的呻吟声，那个男人，仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽……
许久，男孩才发现了女孩，男孩惊慌失措，忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。可女孩，转身离开了。男孩飞奔出去，追着女孩，那晚，大雨袭击了整个城市。女孩不顾男孩的叫 喊，径直往前跑，往回家的方向跑，男孩在女孩后面大喊：“对不起，我还是爱你的，对不起，我真的只爱你。”可女孩，始终没有听见。

~这样的“对不起”太伤人~


男孩一直都没有找到女孩，女孩失踪很久了。男孩的世界已经一片黑暗，无心工作，无心花天酒地，他想不到女孩可以去哪里，因为女孩没有朋友，她唯一的朋友就是男孩，男孩终日守着电话机，手机24小时不关机，怕错过了女孩的电话。这一等就是半年多。
快递为男孩送来一个盒子。
男孩打开一看，里面是许多河虾的标本，有的在树叶边休息，有的在水草里躲着，各式各样的河虾标本，旁边放着一封信。

“ 我始终没有勇气再见到你，可能是我太懦弱，也或许是我根本不想见到你，我想这些『警告：注意文明用语！』应该过的没什么两样吧，我很好，我学会了离开你怎 么让自己存活，我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己，而不用每天等着你回家，为你烧一桌热腾腾的饭菜，直到凉了也不见你的人，我的手机已经不用了，因为我已经不会再 为你24小时的不关机，让自己饱受辐射的折磨。我懂得怎样去爱惜自己，珍惜自己的本来应该美好的生活。我想，我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的，因为你把我的爱弄 得遍地麟伤。
离婚协议书，就压在鱼缸的底下，你签完字，按照地址给我寄过来就行了。
对不起，我想我是真的累了。”

男孩按照地址找去，他满心希望能够见到女孩，然后让女孩原谅，并且告诉女孩自己不能没有她，可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲，而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——是女孩的遗像。
女孩的父亲告诉男孩，女孩在写完这封信后，跳楼自杀了，血肉一片模糊。

~原来“对不起”也可以是种结束~


那一年，男孩疯了。

每个人在自己的生命里头，一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一个人，不是每一句的对不起，都可以换来每一句的没关系……千万不要辜负了自己心爱的人，那对谁，都不好……把这个故事传下去，让你的朋友们知道，不要随意地说出对不起......